The sign says "professional waxing"
bonded and certified
And the sweet young salon girl smiles and welcomes you in
But I hear screams in dark cells
I see
bodies stacked like driftwood
And suddenly she
she's Lyndie England with a leash
whose prisoners whimper
and clutch crotches now
smooth and
clean and
pink as a stillborn baby
I mourn the loss of your
throwback hairy ape shoulders
now ripped out by the roots
your back waxed like you're a Camaro
that dreams of shining in the sun
Your flanks wiped clean
like a damaged surfboard
or old downhill skis Why do we flee so madly
from our dropping testicles
Is it to somehow rush
the evolutionary clock
desperate to become
the Blues or the Grays
aliens with almond eyes
thin bony knuckles
and skin so smooth
so blank
so white
so plastic
that no self-respecting follicle could ever
find the nourishment to sprout? Well I say no!
I shun the
Abu Ghraib salons and
Guantanamo treatment centers
in favor of
my pudgy splotched
and magnificently hairy self!
I exalt in the glory of lingering upon
the evolutionary road
half ape
half alien
with snowflake patterns of fur on my belly
that march proudly up my back
and rush down through secret adventures
in the canyon of my ass
to finally make camp
in a swirl of shaggy
glory around my magnificent and heavy balls Hail testosterone that seeds the fields
of my weighty carcass with a crop
to feed my lovers for a lifetime! I throw a kiss to my neanderthal ancestors
and suck lustily upon that thick and musky sasquatch
whose DNA still flows in my veins
and spurts from my loins
to dry crusty and sharp in my atavistic fur! Let the supermodels run screaming
the barbarians are at the gate!
We're leaving scattered pubic hair
on cold urinal lips
curly ass hair on the soap
and a heady sweet brew of piss and ball sweat
to caress your toes in the morning shower I defy evolution!
Or at least I stake my claim at this point
along the road from ape to alien
and refuse to go forward
one more lost follicle!
I sit my ass down on the hot pavement
the wind rustles my fur
clothes tossed into the sea
hard hairy cock pointing proudly skyward
from its scraggly nest of
unwaxed
unclipped
unshaved
wild ass beauty! And you
I hear you're going back in two weeks
for a little "clean up"
Well, remember this:
when the Gods inevitably flush us all away
and they will
You will slide compliantly down to the sea
While me?
I'll get caught in the drain
A vantage point from which I can
curse the Gods one last time
with my
gurgling
putrefying
hirsute
defiance! Desire is sharper than razors!
Passion is hotter than wax!
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